Technology, especially Social Media, is increasingly shaping our culture — from our way of living to our interactions and everything in between. There are many ways that these two things can play a meaningful part in our lives and one of them is how easily we can connect with loved ones.
I outgrew the time when I actively shared life’s moments on my socials. Over the years, I learned that what matters most to me is the time spent in those moments.
Like everything in life, there’s imperfection that comes along with it. As humans, it’s in our nature to be influenced by external matters. But I’m not going to focus on details of the negative effects of Tech and Social Media, we should all know by now how it’s being used to easily manipulate our views— the way we think and even the way we live. It can be a dangerous space, for sure, so despite the abundance of noise out there, how do I stay grounded in the midst of it all?
It may seem impossible to find our ground on this matter unless we go off the grid but I believe that we’re all very capable of finding our way out of this dilemma as free-thinking individuals. With that in mind, may this post encourage you to find your balance, stay grounded, and more importantly, to stay true to yourself.
On Traveling
To give you an idea, I’m going to pull quotes from my previous writings. I’m a bit passionate about this subject and I’ve already written a few posts about it.
"Planning an itinerary is good so that you have an idea of what to expect on your trip but don’t be disappointed if you can’t cross-out each and every activity on your list. . .You will appreciate the trip even more if you’re not exhausted by the end of it. . . . . .It’s not about the number of places you visit, but the memories you make with one another. . .What makes it special is that you and your company enjoy your trip regardless of how relaxing or adventurous it may be." - December in San Francisco: Weekend Itinerary ~ Friendships are Blessings
"We shouldn’t get too caught up with labels, trends, and bucket lists. Whether you’re on your own or with company, the sweetest memories are made when the journey is not strictly curated. Most importantly, stay true to yourself. Trends fade, we’ll never entirely fit one label, and bucket lists are goals meant to change as we grow." - The Slow Tourist: Finding Balance in the Age of Trends and Bucket Lists
On Life Events
2019 was quite a full year for me as I focused on the time spent with my S.O. planning our wedding.
We both agreed to have a small and intimate wedding. My perspective on weddings is that while we stay respectful to both our parents and as persons of Faith, it should solely be between the two of us with God’s love and promises as the foundation of our marriage. External matters are minor or none-prioritized.
So we decided to be intentional about everything we chose to do for our wedding without giving into the typical pressures of weddings which was definitely heightened in the age of Social Media. We didn’t make a huge announcement on our socials and instead we reached out directly to our families and close friends.
During our wedding, we respectfully asked guests not to post anything on their socials. Post-wedding, we didn’t share anything about our wedding at all. On a related note, we hoped for our guests to enjoy every moment, instead of focusing on their socials— socialize with one another and have a grand time!
I outgrew the time when I actively shared life’s moments on my socials. Over the years, I learned that what matters most to me is the time spent in those moments.
There are many negative aspects in the culture of Social Media (from everything that’s shallow to dangerous), and private moments/precious life events spent with loved ones and major life events such as our marriage are sacred to me, hence, I try not to share so much about them publicly.
I’ve learned that I never really valued sharing my personal life in the world of social media. What I value most is catching up with someone directly. Talking about each other’s lives whether by phone/video call, direct messaging, or better yet—face to face in real life!
There are many negative aspects in the culture of Social Media (from everything that’s shallow to dangerous), and private moments/precious life events spent with loved ones and major life events such as our marriage are sacred to me, hence, I try not to share so much about them publicly.
I’m aware that the negative space isn’t always present, however, it’s deeply embedded in Social Media culture.
Sometime in the early days of our globally challenging season, I’ve come to learn that Social Media can be dangerously manipulative. Everything from issues relating to the outside world to choices I make in my own little world are being manipulated as soon as I enter the world of Tech (News Apps, Neighborhood Apps, etc.) and Social Media.
Circling back to what I value most, I truly believe we get more quality gains — heart’s happier and healthier — from catching up with someone directly.
That being said, I prefer not to have any sacred, precious, and private life events be part of a space like that—of the culture of Social Media. Those belong in the memories of those who shared such precious moments.
On My Views & My Day-To-Day Life
Sometime in the early days of our globally challenging season, I’ve come to learn that Social Media can be dangerously manipulative. Everything from issues relating to the outside world to choices I make in my own little world are being manipulated as soon as I enter the world of Tech (News Apps, Neighborhood Apps, etc.) and Social Media.
Coming to that realization, I decided to make the effort to research deeply on things that matter to me and I made sure that the little choices I make in my day-to-day life are solely my own. I cancel out the noise, I don’t blindly follow everything/anything under the sun, and external matters, especially popular trends, are always ‘taken with a grain of salt’.
I diligently do my ‘homework’, I take responsibility for all the choices I make and views I believe in. At the end of the day, as a person of Faith, I pursue life with good intentions, and anchor my trust and hope in God, and not in this world.
No matter what happens in the outside world, what I value most is what’s in front of me— my well-being, my loved ones, people around me, and people I have direct interactions with.
Our lives will never be perfect but we still take care of it. . . A life—away from the screens—that’s wholeheartedly meaningful, that’s genuinely you.
Staying true to myself with the choices I make for the life that’s in front of me, embracing opportunities that enable me to nurture my well-being and at the same time be a mirror that reflects the light in those around me.
Ways That Helped Me Throughout The Years To Focus On What Matters Most — Life Happening In Front Of Us
- Disable any sort of notification on all of your socials. I haven’t had any for years now. This is the first and easiest step you can make if you haven’t yet.
- Be intentional when it comes to going on Social Media. For example, on my project account, @ehmeehope, I only go whenever I have something I already intended on sharing. Also, over the years, I learned how to be intentional in who I follow on that account—whoever catches my interests that align with my creative bubble and those who I have genuine and direct interactions with.
- Avoid mindless scrolling. When I catch myself, I abruptly close the app and move on to “real life”. Sometimes, I can be stubborn about it but I always try hard like an imaginary slap on my face: “priorities!?!”. Self-control and focus is key.
- Be intentional when it comes to catching up with friends, old and new. I value their time no matter how short it can be so I give myself time to focus solely on our interactions. Sometimes it becomes a long message thread so I make sure I give myself time to read and respond to their messages.
- Some of us use our phones for work but if your phone is solely for personal use, perhaps challenge yourself and try to disable any text/email notifications on your phone and be more intentional about checking. If there’s an emergency, we get calls, not texts!
- Be more mindful when checking your phone and avoid doing so mindlessly from time to time. Often times, I have my phone laying around somewhere away from me when I’m at home. When I check messages on my phone the intention is to respond to them, so I don’t open any messages if I’m not ready to spend time responding. Doing so avoids forgetting to respond to messages.
- Phone is buried in my purse whenever I’m with company until it’s necessary like when I use the camera, or get a ride, or seek directions.
- Get rid of marketing emails. I have unsubscribed to almost 90% of email marketings. If I need anything, I will search for it myself.
- Reassess and declutter your apps. Focus on present moments happening in your life, not on moments you think you need to share nor moments you think you don’t want to miss out on. One popular SM app of my generation that I haven’t had on my phone for years is Facebook. This circles back to my previous reasons about personal lives shared publicly. None of these Social Media apps compare to the real, inspiring, belly laugh inducing, enlightening life in front of you.
- Grab every opportunity to be present and wake up from the ‘screen-coma’. Open your eyes to the inspirations that surround you. I recognize that society and the outside world in general can be heavy influences that can change one’s environment, especially one’s creative headspace. So I say to myself, enough of that, then I spend several weeks or months not going on any of my socials. I see more value in being present in real life. If I want to continue with my goal to spread my message on my creative outlets, I have to give myself ample time and space to be able to create/write so that I’m fully able to share pieces of my heart to the outside world.
Our lives will never be perfect but we still take care of it. Even when I try to be mindful in many ways, I will always encounter mishaps and that’s okay. We can take those mishaps and learn from them. Every waking hour is an opportunity to choose a life that’s sincere—an abundant life without the pressures of a culture shaped by technology and social media. A life—away from the screens—that’s wholeheartedly meaningful, that’s genuinely you.
(Written on October 2020)
emme hope 